I think i may be as well , when i stated that i began to think ..who would else to blame for your conditions?. I is I . I accept that there are external events but i choice which ones i have attachments too. I going through a transition of these choices and how the consequences effect me, however i am finding it hard to grasp the postive ones. I have already wasted so much time dowing what i thought what i wanted to , so i can no longer question if it was right or wrong as to do that pot event to i seems pointless.. well if i was the type to learn from myself perhaps not . I made the choice and i will say it because it is true , to step away from my degree and focus sole esye on family and my own pursuits . These things i did and yes i enjoyed it and was frustrated with it as if i had chosen the other up . There is not ebouigh of my being copmbined with my prefrence to be ahermit to permit basicly . Then it is put on me do this do that go back erase your choice. I simply feel that to not do or to do is same as not to do but that to do could change and it has its hand at fate. Yet here i am . Knowing fine well i have so muhc in my head that to attempt such follies for academia when life is consuming me to prevent me from understanding it . Results will come , emotions wounded , choices made , but anywhere along being lynne in one situation of mind mode and lynne of the other can someone tell me where i am .

The dialogue in this film is so funny “  Cut Throat Week” and ” Strangulation Day” Oh if only !!  Nietzsche screamed at me from this film . The Premise a perfect Murder .. permittable on the basis that some are superior than others , thereby giving certain sections of society those with the ” ubermenche faculties” are permitted to dispose of those lesser mortals they have deemed to be lesser through their self approved higher seat . To kill is to make art here not a base immoral action but an action that ia above the morality of life or death . Really though it is a megalomaniac Man with his bullied little friend who after many school years discussing the what ifs, make the leap to commit the perfect murder , put the victim in a case and serve dinner t0 his friends and family off it and for added measure invite along their ex housemaster ; James Stewart .. someone that was deemed to be of a like wise intelligence and ablity to understand the art of their perfect murder , death for no more than the sake that they could.  These actions take the housemaster as a slap of his own ethos in his face and in a way it would be to me , be a similar conversation if Hitler and Niezsche ever happened apon to meet

Mind whats in the trunk and this is a reminder that a great film does not need a big set .. oh and can you see the outside scenary playing inside the room ?

I forgot all about here , tis a habit of mine when i get lost in the tangles of what i know is banal social networking. Transfixed on finding out whether I am a potatoe or not. Yet at that time , i am curious , it is this curiosity that is killing me in someway. I require to non attend and i am going to self lecture myself . Firstly decide what you are doing !!!! How can i possibly retain anything if i will not decide what is going in the container . The box flashes though …MUST LOOK. Why what am i missing ? more like what am i replacing . I always seem to be really needing to be doing something else.

Too many people are thinking and all these thoughts will try to sufficate my own .I shall pretain for orginality to remain.Unless i be not aware of the obvious in my stare. Glaring white light no replacement for the moon.  Night has come with day to soon.

I find a lovely strangeness in the way that we stubble or perhaps i should say I do in regard to the stumbling method I find books. Which without a thought out selection they are exactly fitted in with ideas that are afloat on your imagination plane of the time.  A book that i suppose could be said you were meant to read.  I had this occur before with a book called the double which i had double copies off but each was by a different Author .

It was not the Authors name that drew my want to picture this , it was the cover . To I this was going to be a book about a painting and i cannot deny that is what it was as they say it did as it said on the tin ” Picture this” and that i suppose is the whole essence of any novel not only a reference to the picture but for the reader to have their mind picture the writers story.

Rembrandts Aristotle contemplating the bust of Homer

Rembrandt - Aristotle contemplating the bust of Homer

The Above is as seen my any art lover or perhaps just a tourist ticking the list of paintings that you must see are viewing. Now to I this is the first time that i myself have actually viewed a painting that in my mind i have pictured not only throughout the book cover but also through the description ( how at times when i searched for mentioned items only to think that it was a default in my eye, but in a way perhaps it was.)

This is what my mind was readily with the correct information to allow myself to picture not only its heritage but its influence also and the contradictory ideas faced with the comparison of the ethos of the painted Aristotle with what to i was a self portrait of Rembrandt within the picture. The book for I verbally told me the factual information regarding self portraits of the Artist and made no mention of my recall of his actual presence in the painting but due to that initial aesthetic imprint for I he was as real as if he had been . Yet all long i was not even looking at Rembrandt’s painting but another and that fits in exactly with the message that Heller conveys in his method of confusing you to the issue of what really is , the story of the painting is as valid regarding whatever painting is really being viewed and it is at a core thought of Aristotle’s thought that is continually referred to in the lack of value in money . The value was never in art but in the history. It could be of course that this is entirely a way of explaining how a stupid error on my part first not to check the book illustrators name was not due to I but to the genius of the authors use of a trick on me ..but those who had seen the painting it would not have had the effect , for them the effect would be have noted at the beginning and Heller does let the reader in on the the notion of imitation as reality from the offset . However in a way i feel the book has a harder effect in revealing this near the end in which he does ..but what if i never had checked the back ?

I assumed that the cover was an integral message within the book , yet when i came to search for the cover that adorned my edition , i found it was to no avail that despite a very in depth search i found only bland covers. Therefore i took the route of taking a picture but it must be forgiven the quality . It is shown however how i could be mistaken for assuming that the painting on the cover was the painting at that the matter of the book , but as the cliche says ” never judge a book by its cover”  is apt in this experience.

My Edition of Joseph Hellers' Picture THis ( Illustrated by George Sharp )

My Edition of Joseph Hellers' Picture This ( Illustrated by George Sharp )

Sometimes my mind is filled with such an array of thought that i have to kind of just grasp what i can and other times it is blank just still and they times i love as much as the hypo idea binge that happens. The issue though is when you find yourself grasping an accumulation of all the different possiblities of what could be and add into this the magnitude of differeing subject matter that your thoughts lead to with an internal; cross sectioning refrence center it can make reading several books at once difficult but also informative when there is in what even what appears different subject matter that essence of human in it i think and if we read more than one book it is hard not to have your mind infer to that .  There are times when you are not at the helm of the reading ship and that can be harmful or be used as way to build up your core knowledge base.  In all circumstances though it is like a literary blankie that comforts you the more you familiarise yourself with its makings and that is when in one book we learn about a particular time period in depth then in another when briefly mentioned if the case was you had no previous understandings then how you build up your interpreting of the rest would ultimately differ as you would be imposing your own vague opinion or perhaps just a void and not taking it into account .

It came to my musin mind the other night that used to actually communicate my thoughts out better online as of recent it has ben more of a game platform for me . I had forgot till one night chatting on skype how liberating the free flow of thought and typing could be . I though admit as social networking sites took hold felt my time in being able to do that and at the same time also have time to have my mind filled with a point of thought was failing . Yes i read , my mind stayed active and i am thankful for that , yet i still realised i missed expressing and not only intaking. This then is going to be my non social networking base , where the structure is what it becomes , the topic is what i am thinking about not in relevence to a topic that may even wish to be commented on . I as myself in description can only be infered by what i give is suppose.